“Amazing Grace” was just about everybody’s favorite song but mine. I didn’t fully know what grace was or what was so amazing about it and my 12-year-old ears were getting tired of the tune.
One night we were at Pizza Hut with a family from church. I overheard my friend’s mom say, “Jesse was in a four-wheeler accident and he needed surgery.”
Surgery, in connection with someone my age, was the most horrifying idea I had ever heard.
I out-of-the-blue panicked. What if I would have to face surgery someday? What if I were to experience intense pain? What if someone I knew got cancer? What if my organs stopped working?
Food didn’t seem swallowable for the next week. I spent a miserable few days in irrational fear and worry of the maybe, not-yet, horrific trial that could strike at any moment.
My parents gently quoted Scripture to me about how “worry doesn’t add a cubit to your stature” and “God is in control.” These conversations would help, but I would just sink back into anxiety.
Yes, I even began to worry that I would have health problems because I worried so much.
The battle raged in my mind to wrestle tomorrow’s problems today.
I cried to my mom one day, “I don’t understand why this is happening. I’m a Christian. I’m asking God to take this away.”
She shared two truths with me that changed my life forever.
- God gives grace when we need it (and not before).
- Believe He is who He says He is, that He can answer the very prayer you’re praying.
That’s when it clicked. That’s when grace got personal. I knelt down and prayed again, “Lord, please take this fear way. I know that You can. I have faith that You will give me grace when I need it.”
That was the last time I struggled with fear so dramatically but only because I keep putting these truths before me. God does provide grace when we need it. He doesn’t give us the grace we need for something we’re not even walking. So why worry about it?
Grace: the unmerited favor of God toward man.
God’s grace is described as glorious in Ephesians 1. So no matter what I do or what life brings, I can always count on God’s glorious unmerited favor, because I never deserved it in the first place. His grace is absolutely sufficient for each need.
It is, indeed, worth singing about. It’s amazing. It taught my heart to fear, and then my fears relieved.